Week 2: Waiting
As I read over these old poems, I try to put myself back in my younger self's shoes. What was I going through when I felt the need to express myself in the form of a poem? I can see by this poem that I was not feeling any more confident or clear about my future than I had been when I wrote the previous poem posted in week 1. I would have been either 20 or 21, depending on the time of year I wrote this.
If I remember correctly, I had quit my dead-end job of two and half years and was not sure what to do next. 21 seemed so old to still be living at home with my parents when my older sister was already married and had her first child by the time she was my age. I was hopelessly single and again feeling lost in direction.
Lest you worry this entire blog is full of young whines and woes about a lackluster life, this is actually the last one that moans about childish things.
The key to this poem lies in the third stanza. There was a woman that had been a family friend for at least 11 years at that time. Her name was Mary. Her husband, like my dad, was a pastor (although my dad had not pastored his own church since 1986 or so). Through the power of the Holy Spirit, she had a prophetic gifting. She had insights into people's lives as well as saw the future. It's a long story, but in an indirect way, she even knew when she would die, and unfortunately, had been correct as to the timing as she passed away in 2014.
Although I do not remember the exact circumstances of that day when Mary prayed over me, I do remember that my mom and I were attending the women's morning Bible study at our small church. I think there were maybe 10 women there. To be honest, I do not even remember what she said in the prayer other than that the Lord had a message for me that He was planning my future and not to be discouraged. Yet that really is all I needed to remember as it resurfaced to my heart each time I felt useless and directionless. I knew God had spoken through Mary, and for many years her prayer through the Holy Spirit brought me great comfort to know God had something special in mind for me.
If you feel like you are stuck in the waiting room of your life, be patient and trust that God knows exactly what He is doing. When we live righteously for Jesus, He will take care of all the details for us, we just need to obey and follow where He leads.
Waiting (1993)
I’ve heard it said before
That only the wicked are downcast,
Only they are restless with life,
But even I,
With Christ at my side,
Even I am impatient
I long for a better future,
Expecting to again love life,
Though nothing ever changes,
Yet I still wait,
Praying for a miracle,
But I wait with an open heart
A prophecy was spoken one night,
Telling me of God’s love,
It said He was planning my future,
And as I cried,
With bitter tears turned to pearls,
I cried with hope and peace
God’s love is teaching me every day
To trust whatever He has planned,
There is freedom in God’s words
And I love Him,
Knowing His promises are true,
I love Him with all my heart
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